Wouldn’t it be nice if life’s little intimate moments were accompanied by music – like a movie, each emotion perfectly depicted by a melody. Sounds nice, but it’s not really intimacy it provides, it’s simply a warm fuzzy feeling. Those feelings are short lived but the intimate long lasting relationships made with family, friends and partners are the relationships that provide the love we need in our lives.
Understanding all of the elements involved in intimacy is the best way to re-discover the ways in which two people must connect for the longest and healthiest relationship possible. The definition of intimacy includes familiarity, closeness and coziness. If this is not what you think of when you are with your partner it doesn’t mean you are devoid of intimacy but it may be an indicator that you and your partner have room for improvement.
First and foremost, do you love yourself? No truly, do you feel confident in your skin? Are you happy and proud to be YOU every day? This may sound cliché but until you are satisfied with who you are, how can someone else feel comfortable to confide their most intimate thoughts and feelings with you?
Often times we see men and women in their 40’s and beyond beginning to experience a disjunction between how great they used to feel and how they feel now. This has an effect on how we carry ourselves around our intimate partners. Experiencing weight gain, decreased libido and overall sluggishness is a reality of aging. This isn’t an equation for doom but it certainly warrants reason for change. Keeping yourself healthy by finding a new routine (exercise, new type of work, hobbies etc) and regaining optimal hormone levels may be what it takes to get you back to feeling your best.
Increasing a diminished libido is one of the key ingredients to regaining interest and intimacy with a partner. Our good friend testosterone is the hormone that provides, amongst other things, our libido. Women have a smaller amount of testosterone to begin with and during menopause testosterone decreases to very minimal levels. By replacing testosterone libido increases, sex drive is restored and connections between partners are reestablished. Intimacy elevates more easily when desire returns.
Don’t be afraid this February to rekindle the intimacy with your loved one and embark on a journey. Whether that be a local adventure, a trip or something as simple as a candlelit dinner, communicate and open up with each other. If there are aspects of yourself that need improvement, confide in your partner so they can help you. But most significantly express the importance of having them in your life.
I have seen couples regain and exceed the intimacy they had when they were first together. By relinquishing love and confidence for themselves they intern found each other again. What more could a doctor ask for other than health and happiness for her patient’s!
Give those you love what they deserve…attention – yourself included!
I wish a Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you
- Dr. Angela DeRosa AKA "Dr. Hot Flash"
- Scottsdale, Arizona, United States
- Angela M. DeRosa DO, MBA, CPE graduated from the Chicago College of Osteopathic Medicine in 1995. She went on to do an Internal Medicine Residency with a fast track emphasis in Women’s Health at Lutheran General Hospital. After her residency, she became the Director of Women’s Health Services and Education at Lutheran General Hospital. After two years of practice she started a full time career as the West Coast Senior Medical Director with Procter and Gamble Pharmaceuticals. There she worked on women's health product development, research and marketing. Seven years after starting this position, Dr. DeRosa decided to pursue other clinical endeavors. Dr. DeRosa is a nationally recognized internist and women’s health expert. Her clinical focus is on revitalizing the physician-patient relationship; striving to provide the highest quality of care to her patients in a warm compassionate environment.